What's to Drink Around Here?
How to Par-tay Parsimoniously
Does $4 gas have you down? Is the prospect of broader inflation taking a big, depressing dog bite
out of your joie de vivre? Is your mojo on the fritz?
Well buck up, brothers and sisters, because macroeconomics bites. The good news is that here
on the micro level, you can still have a great time while spending less.
1. Entertain at Home
My friends in the restaurant biz
won’t like this one, but c’mon, we all know that you’ll spend less if you invite some friends over and toss
some foodstuffs on the grill. Entertaining at home can be more relaxing and less expensive than going out. If I actually had
any friends, I would do this all the time.
Added bonus alert!: If anyone overindulges, you’ll be doing the community a huge favor by letting them
sleep it off at your place rather than having them drive home on the same roads that our kids drive.
2. Spread the Burden
Two options here: You can either
rotate the party – this time at the Big Bobber’s house and next time at Stinky Joe’s – or you can
have everyone bring something, in an arrangement that I’ll call “potlatch.”
As a lover
of historical quotes, I am compelled to bring you this one from Thomas Nashe, the first English citation of the term potluck:
"That that pure sanguine complexion of yours may never be famisht with pot lucke." I say this all the time, which
is probably why I don’t have any friends.
3. Just Simplify…
So why don’t people
don’t host parties as much as they used to? I shudder to think that it’s because the Sword of Damocles of Liability
is hanging over our collective heads.
No. I think it’s because, as with all things, party hosting
was eventually wrecked by those fools, the Jones family. Your remember them, always topping every other party with increasingly
outlandish themes; ornate costumes; actual engraved invitations; sacrificing animals prior to roasting them on a spit; hiring
jugglers and mimes; shining those huge Hollywood spotlights into the air; flying their Lear Jet to Nova Scotia to catch a
total eclipse of the sun. That sort of thing.
Well, I am hereby leading the revolution to take back the
simple party! Really, most people don’t want all of that crap. Most people just want to enjoy a bit of nice food, a
few drinks, and some good conversation. Just plug your iPod into something capable of emitting more than 2 decibels (ask your
kids, or grandkids, how) for some fun tunes, toss some kabobs on the Weber, and you’re on your way.
On the beverage side, it’s easy to offer people choices without having to
purchase a veritable Fun Food Drinkery. The key is offering some variety without going overboard (Don’t Jones it!).
Buy a six-pack or two of mixed beers and have a tasting. Instead of buying six bottles of the same boring Chardonnay,
buy one bottle of six different wines that you’ve never had. Watch out, because now you’re living!
Don’t even mess with trying to stock a full bar, because you’ll blow it, Jethro. You’ll forget the vermouth
or the capers or the rosewater or the live goldfish* or something, and you’ll just blow it. So just step away from the
Mr. Boston guide, and listen up.
The rule for cocktails: Just offer one. Make it a mojito or a Dark N’ Stormy or
a Gin & Tonic or a Planter’s Punch or an Appletini or whatever, but only offer one thing. There are millions of
drink recipes on the internet. If you just do one, you’ll do it well. You can make an azz-kickin’ mojito –
which would cost $7 at a bar – for less than a dollar.
4. Drink Well, But Less Expensively
Remember back when Mr. Dweebman was
teaching us about supply and demand? Okay, I was sleeping, too. But I’ve recently looked it up, and it seems that as
demand rises in a supply-stable situation, so do prices. So here’s what’s going to happen. Many of the folks who
were drinking mid-range ($14-20) wines are going to drop down into the value category.
That’s fine. It’s
probably even advisable for most folks. Carefully consider whether, in addition to price, you want to also drop down in quality,
because you do have a choice.
There is a lot of cheap wine out there, and much of it stinks. But there
are many excellent small production wines that fly below the radar. Folks don’t know about them, thus demand hasn’t
risen significantly. These wines represent excellent value, and a way for you to pay less, but still drink well. At Hair O’
The Dog, we°¶ve been spending the past several months finding and buying as many of these wines as we can. What are
they? Just ask!
* No live goldfish were harmed in the writing of this article.
Dave Lewis is a bon vivant and co-owner of Hair O’ The Dog Wine &
Spirits in Easton.
and
219 Marlboro Avenue
Easton, Maryland 21601
